My husband and I just got back from dance class, (that would be Active Older Adult dance class) and we didn’t do so great on the two-step spot turn. There we were – navel to navel – and I just couldn’t seem to end the turn on the correct foot. Oh, well . . .
Life is a dance and the goal is Positive Relationships.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this relationship lately because in a couple of years, we will be married for 50 years. Wow! That’s a really, really long time.
Like many couples who have been married for a long time, we’ve had our ups and downs (fade to laughter for all the couples who have been married for 30 years or more!) But, like those same couples, we’ve come out of the “downs” stronger than we went in . . . fighting down all those catastrophes with kids, jobs, bosses, in-laws, etc. . . . but still married.
You know how you are sure when you first marry that you will always put this man you adore so much, first in your life? That only lasts a little while, and then life intervenes. Such beloved children are born; such important jobs develop; such important friendships and committees and neighborhood block parties and moves and parties and all that other stuff in life take your focus away from this person you have pledged to worship and adore.
Well, I want that time back when I knew that this man I married was at the center of my life. I want him to know that I have made a conscious commitment to this relationship. After almost 50 years, I know that he would always have done whatever he had to do to make sure that I and our two sons were safe and happy. I want him to know the same.
To strengthen positive relationships here’s what I’m going to try to do:
I’m going to tell myself that my husband comes first. Before my grown kids. Before my grandchildren. Before my friends. Before anyone.
I’m going to say a prayer each morning for my husband. Not a general prayer. A special prayer with special intentions. It can’t hurt to start the day with him in mind.
I’m going to know that we don’t have to be joined at the hip to be close. In fact, the separate things we do make us more interesting to each other.
I’m going to keep up with our ritual of getting up early, making the coffee, and reading the paper each morning while it’s still dark.
I’m going to try to remember to tell him how much I appreciate him. He’s smart. He’s funny. He vacuums. I don’t. Hallelujah! Thanks so much for that!
I’m going to make sure that we have at least two decent hugs a day. It matters if you touch.
So, we’ll see how this goes. But I know how fortunate I am to still have this man I love in my life, and I want to make sure that he knows how I feel.
Positive Relationship conclusion
The only really important things in life are the people you love and the people who love you. Everything else is only stuff. If you are my age, you know that’s true. If you are my age and you’ve lost someone you love, you know that’s true. It’s important to evaluate your relationships and be sure they are well attended.
Bottom line: Treasure those you love.